Dealing With A Break Up

Ok, so you have made it to this page, you did a google search on dealing with a break up or whatever so the chances are you have decided or it has been forced upon you that you are single again.

Dealing with a break up inevitably means that you have to sort through your feelings, get your self together in order to move on. Doesn’t sound to difficult but we all know it can be. However with a little nudge in the right direction you will find dealing with a break up not such as painful experience as it could have been.

To get through this experience sufficiently a little knowledge will really help your progress. There are three main steps to dealing with a break up. They are: denial, anger, bitterness and acceptance. However there is a fair bit of cross over between the two so don’t be surprised if your stages appear mixed up along the way, just know that you are going through phases and you will come out of the end a better person for it. Just remember ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’.

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To get you through these phases as smoothly and easily as possible it is first necessary to cleanse your emotions. For example, if any of your belongings became toxic, you would either get rid of it or cleanse it. Keeping something around you that is toxic is never a good idea. So there is no need to hold on to your toxic emotions regarding your ex. Get rid of them. You can do that by first making yourself become still and not contact your ex. Contacting them will whip the emotions up again. You really need to not contact.

You need to be still in order to give yourself a chance to come to terms with the fact that you are now single again. This may not be what you feel like doing but it is what you need to do. Your emotions may well be telling you to get on the phone and keep contacting them but this will in now way help you in dealing with a break up.

Enjoy some quiet time alone, long walks in the park and so on are great for quiet reflective head space, you will soon notice that you are still alive and that there are pleasurable experiences to be had again outside of your relationship with your ex. If you do not give yourself this time to get your self together and start thinking straight again you will almost inevitably fall into the trap of making continual mistakes such as the typical rebound relationship and so on.

A good thing to do to get through this phase is to ask your friends to not ask you about your ex, if they are good friends they will surely understand your predicament.

When you are feeling more as though you are back to your old self, you are thinking rationally, not breaking into tears and have started to get your life in some sort of good shape then it is time for the next phase ‘constructive reflection’. This is where you look back on your relationship and be analytical about it really be thoughtful and try to work out where things went wrong and what part you played in it all. There were probably many contributing issues that all came to a head but do not be one sided about this admit that you made mistakes too. This phase is difficult to do if you having been through the cleansing phase so don’t jump the gun. Write down the lesson you have learnt for sake of clarity and to give yourself a sense of a final coming to terms of what happened and you can use these as decent points to improve should you enter another relationship in the future.

Finally, dealing with the physical things, photos, clothes, rings and so on. Some people suggest burning them or whatever but I disagree. There is no need to forget the good times there undoubtedly were some and they should be cherished be thankful for the good times but know there will be more good times ahead also. Put them all together in a small case and lock them away at the back of the cupboard. Now set your sights with a positive mind firmly on the future and live the life that you deserve.

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